Books I Will Never Write

A history of the Franco-Prussian War told from the perspective of the animals in Paris Zoo.

A guide to implementing ERP in your organization on a ZX Spectrum.

A version of Shakespeare’s Henry V where all the characters are bears, apart from one giraffe.

The Wit and Wisdom of Jar-Jar Binks.

“Yes, I know that bus is red!” – My Struggles With Daltonism

A Practical Guide to Stairs

Cooking for Drummers

How to Forget

Was Biggles Jennings’s Father?

A 400 page exploration of why, if the plural of foot is feet, that the plural of boot is not beet.


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